March of Microanalysis: Day 6
Microfiction Entry Day 6:
Together, we watched the skies fall.
Apoco-licous! “Together” tells you that the narrator is not alone. “Skies fall” conveys something momentous, more so than "sky". If they watched the “sky fall”, while technically correct, it would be a bit too Chicken Little to have the same impact.
So what's happening in this story? As with the other entries, the story is more suggestion than outright explanation. I picture a small group of folks, gazing in horror from a hill, or some other vantage point, as some catastrophe changes their whole world. The story is written in past tense, however. That's standard for fiction, but it could also mean that the narrator survived to tell the tale. I wonder if it's a tale worth telling...
Bonus: Another six word contender: "Trusted the devil, paid the price." If you've been reading earlier entries, you know this idea eventually got condensed and put up on Day 5.
Through March, I'm posting a breakdown/analysis of the microfiction I posted on the corresponding day in February. This is probably only interesting to you if you care about the mechanics of writing, or if you know me personally.