Microfiction: Krampus Switching to Clean Coal

In a press conference this week, Krampus, the shadowy companion to St. Nicholas, announced that beginning in the 2017 holiday season, clean coal is now standard in all gift giving to bad children, and that this will continue indefinitely.

“It’s the children who were naughty, not the planet,” the dark lord of yuletide said in his prepared remarks. “I am deeply concerned about the health of the Earth. Though I may endure for millennia in the hidden fears of